My education journey (so far)

 I'm a perpetual student, and at this point I don't ever intend to stop studying in some capacity. I'm always learning, whether I'm currently enrolled on a course or not, and education is one of my biggest hobbies and passions. 

I've always loved learning, ever since I started school. Unfortunately, school became a very unhappy place for me as a result of bullying, but learning provided an escape from my school and home lives that has always stuck with me. 

I'm inspired by so many subjects and topics and it's always been hard for me to narrow down my studies so much. I want to study anything and everything, and I have tried to follow an educational journey that will allow me to study across as many disciplines as I can. 

My education journey so far has been difficult, and I lost my love for learning for a few years whilst I struggled with my mental health. After university, I briefly worked as a teacher, and although this career didn't work out for me, it really reminded me how much I loved learning. 

GCSEs (2010-2013)

Like most students in the UK, my first experience of formal exams came when I sat my GCSEs. I sat my first GCSE (maths) in year nine and completed it in year ten. I sat most of my exams over year ten and eleven and finished in 2013. It wasn't a very enjoyable time, and although I loved learning and studying, I had a lot of academic pressure placed on me and my mental health began to really struggle. This compounded the bullying quite a lot, making it worse, and I think this is where I experienced burn out for the first time. 

Despite how difficult it was, I left with good results. I achieved A* grades in maths, physics, English literature and religious studies, A grades in biology, chemistry, English language, geography, French and Further maths, a B grade in Latin and a Pass in ICT. Looking back, I'm really happy with these grades, but at the time they didn't feel good enough. My parents and teachers were determined that I'd get straight As, and they felt I'd let them down by getting a B in Latin. I think this had quite a big impact on my confidence and I went into the next stage of my education feeling like I wasn't good enough. 

A-Levels (2013-2015)

I stayed at the same school for sixth form and initially studied biology, chemistry, physics and maths. My mental health really began to worsen more dramatically at this point, and after burning out during my GCSEs I really struggled to settle in to sixth form. I disengaged quite a bit and spent most of my lessons in tears. I'd always been expected to perform extremely well academically, and everyone had high hopes for me, so after the negative response to my GCSE grades I felt that the pressure was too much. 

I finished the first year of A-Levels with three Cs in physics, chemistry and maths, and a D in biology. I'd initially intended to study medicine or biomedical science, but getting a D in biology meant I had to drop it and my career goals fell apart. Again, I can appreciate now that these grades were actually ok, especially given everything I was going through, but I had a breakdown after AS results day and my parents didn't speak to me for over a week because I'd done so poorly. I could no longer apply to the universities I had planned to, and it felt like my future prospects had disappeared. 

I spent the first few weeks of year thirteen feeling like there was no point to anything anymore. I'd messed up irreparably. I decided I wouldn't go to university and I'd just get a job, but my teachers told me they wouldn't support this and stopped engaging with me. I wallowed for another few weeks, but eventually I decided to resit some exams from the year before and work my hardest. University was the only chance I had to escape my hometown and my family and I was desperate to get out. 

I worked really hard throughout the year, burning myself out again. It worked though, and I left with an A* in maths, an A in physics and a B in chemistry. I was really happy with these grades, even though I still beat myself up for getting a B. I'd always been described as a straight A student, and so far I'd not managed to actually achieve that. 

I was all set to move to Hull for university, to study physics. I'd always loved space, but never really considered it as a career. My dreams of working within the medical field had fallen apart, but if it hadn't, I'd never have considered studying physics. 

I was even awarded a scholarship from the Ogden Trust, which my teachers initially didn't want me to apply for. They were surprised when I was given it over others in my class, but this spurred me on and gave me the final bit of motivation I needed to do well in my exams. 

Undergraduate studies (2015-2020)

I started university with a very idealistic view of the whole thing. I was studying physics with astrophysics, but university wasn't what I thought it would be. I got sucked into the drinking culture,and after years of being bullied and not having any friends, I was really desperate to fit in. I think I was also quite burnt out from years of intense studying, and I slowly lost my motivation. 

At the end of my first year, I was deep into an abusive relationship and a growing dependency on drugs and alcohol. I'd missed too much of my course, and whilst repeating the year was an option, it felt like an admission of failure, and I was terrified to tell my family I'd failed again. 

So on a whim, I decided not to study physics anymore. I switched course to zoology, which I started the following year. I'm still not sure why I chose zoology. It was a fleeting interest, and although I'm still interested in the subject, it probably wasn't the right degree for me. In hindsight, I should've just repeated a year of my physics degree. But hindsight is a powerful thing! 

I managed to graduate with a 2:1 in zoology. I would've loved a first, but for someone who never turned up to anything, a 2:1 was great. In the five years I studied at university, I dealt with a massive decline in my mental health, a battle with addiction and substance misuse, an abusive relationship and several other traumatic events. 

It was at the end of my degree that I finally made the decision to cut off contact with my family, which despite being very difficult and upsetting at times, was ultimately one of the best decisions I made. I finally started to recover. 

I wanted to use my experience of mental health, particularly my experience in school, and decided to apply for teacher training.

PGCE (2020-2021)

I started my PGCE in Secondary Science with great intentions, but the school system hadn't really changed much and it was quite badly triggering my mental health. I felt like no one listened or cared about student mental health, even during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. After my mental health had really begun to recover, this set me back a few steps and I decided not to pursue it after I finished the course. 

I stuck it out to gain the qualification, but got a job working with the British Red Cross working as part of their community education team. 

The biggest takeaway for me personally from my PGCE, was that it really brought me back to learning and education. I'd lost my way a little during my undergraduate studies, and teaching really showed me how much I missed learning. 

So, only a few months after finishing my PGCE, I discovered the Open University. I also discovered that I could get a second degree funded, providing it was part-time and on the list of approved subjects. Although I'd been primarily teaching biology, I'd also been teaching physics, and my love for space came right back to me. I signed up, perhaps a little impulsively, to study with the Open University and began my next chapter of learning.

Undergraduate studies part II (2021-present)

I'm now in my third year of studies with the Open University, and really, really enjoying it. I'm on the BSc Combined STEM programme, which gives me more flexibility with my modules. So far, I've studied maths, statistics, astronomy and planetary science, and this year I'm starting two modules - Remote Experiments in Physics and Space and Mathematical Methods. I'm really looking forward to developing my practical skills through remote experiments, including using a telescope! 

Going back to study again (despite never really taking a break) has been a fantastic decision for me. I'm finally studying the right subject for me, and I can work alongside it. Taking this route has forced me to slow down and recognise that we don't all have to follow the same path in life, and that it's ok for things to take a little longer for some. In some ways, I'm glad I waited until now. I wasn't really ready for university the first time, but now I can really focus on my studies and prioritise them. 

I should hopefully finish this degree in 2025 or 2026, and then plan to pursue a Masters and a PhD. My dream was always to work in academia, but I resisted because people told me it wasn't a good enough career choice and that it was too competitive. I appreciate that there are negatives to this career (as there are for any), but I know what's best for me and I really do think I'll be happy. I loved teaching, but the systems were too rigid and not flexible enough for the learners, and I think I'll enjoy teaching at a university level. 

My journey hasn't panned out the way I thought it did way back when I started secondary school, but I'm glad it's worked out the way it has. My goals are finally in sight, and I feel happy and settled with my life in a way I never thought I would. There are still things I'd like to change, but I'm a lot closer to my goals than I was a few years ago. 

If your education journey hasn't been very linear, then don't let it get you down. It's never too late to start studying, whether it's for a qualification or just for fun. In my spare time, I read a lot of non-fiction, study languages and recently began a Bible study course as I've always wanted to learn more about religion. Education isn't just about careers, but personal development too. Growing our knowledge base has so many applications outside of the workplace, and I hope that my journey can show that no matter how many set backs you experience, you can still find a way.